Cuts and Bruises
by froggirl80
Summary: Drake’s biological father dies. As Drake travels to the funeral, he ponders the past and thinks about the present and future.
1. Default Chapter

Cuts and Bruises 

Drake's biological father dies. As Drake travels to the funeral, he ponders the past and thinks about the future.

"I am stronger now, wiser now than ever before. I don't need-I don't need. Darn! I can't find a good note for this song," said Drake as he strummed on his red electric guitar. He sat on his bed in his cozy loft on a warm, summery day in June. It was the second day of summer vacation and Drake was ecstatic. He and his stepbrother, Josh had landed summer jobs at Sunny Day Camp, a camp for kids with mild special needs (Drake was to be the music counselor while Josh taught art) and Drake had plenty of time to work on some new songs with his band, which was developing a small following around their San Diego suburb.

"Hey, Drake! I'm so psyched about our jobs as camp counselors this summer," said Josh as he walked into the room. "This is gonna be the best summer, don't you agree?"

Drake smiled and said, "Absolutely, my brother! Working with some awesome kids during the day and rocking with my band at night!"

"With me as your manager," Josh smiled.

Drake gave him a cautious look. "Ahh, Josh, about you being manager," he said, putting down his guitar and jumping from the bed. "I'm not sure you know a lot about managing a band."

"Drake, Drake," he said, putting his hands on Drake's shoulders. "Trust me. I will be a great manager, just—"

"Drake, I need to talk to you," said their mom, Audrey.

Drake saw his mom in the doorway, looking like she was about to cry. "Mom, what's wrong?" he asked, a bit of softness entering his voice.

Audrey forced back her tears and said, "I need to talk to you, Drake Michael. Now."

Drake felt worry enter him. Audrey only used his full name when things were extremely, extremely serious.

"Ah, ok," Drake, said.

Drake looked at Josh and Josh gave him a rub on the shoulder. Drake, then, walked outdoors onto the patio, where his mom was sitting on the porch swing. Drake studied his mom's face. She looked like she had been crying. Drake sat down next her and took her hand, something that he didn't do often.

"Mom, what's the matter?" he asked, warmly.

Audrey looked up at her son through her tear-filled eyes and hugged him, tight. Drake hugged her back.

"Drake, I got a call from your aunt Rose," she said, wiping her tears.

"Dad's sister," he said, uneasy. "Dad" wasn't Walter, Audrey's second husband. "Dad" was her first husband, Drake's biological father, the man he had forgotten about, the man who hurt him and his family.

"Yeah, Dad's sister," she continued. "Um, I don't how to tell you this but um, Drake, your father died last night."

Drake's eyes grew big and he felt like he had been kicked in the stomach, the wind being taken from him. He couldn't believe it.

"When, how, um, did he, um, die?" Drake asked, rubbing his eyes, trying to prevent the tears from coming down his cheeks.

"Cancer," she said, running her fingers through his red hair. "He drank a lot."

"I remember," said Drake, feeling more tears come to his eyes, which he rubbed away, hard as to rub away the pain of those memories. "I remember him drinking and hitting."

"Drake, sweetheart, don't think of that now, ok?" she said, softly. "That's all done with."

"No, it's not," he said, softly. Then, he got up and said, harshly. "Cause I still feel the cuts and bruises."

With that, Drake walked away from his mom, leaving her to cry more. Not over her ex-husband's death but her son's reaction to it.


	2. Just like the waves

Chapter 2: Just like the waves.

Drake had to get way. He needed an escape. He could have gone to the garage or one of his band mates' houses to jam but he wanted to be alone; alone with his thoughts, alone with his feelings, alone to think about the man who had died, the man who had contributed to his DNA, the man who made his life so miserable. After a few minutes of thinking, Drake knew the perfect place to sort everything out. He got into his car and drove for a while before arriving at his destination, the Pacific Ocean. Drake parked his car and walked out and stared at the massive ocean before him. It looked like it went on forever. Where the ocean met the blue sky seemed like a perfect line being drawn. It was truly a sight. Drake decided to walk on the beach so he removed his sneakers and socks and cuffed up the bottoms of his jeans so they wouldn't get sandy or wet. He stepped onto the sand and kind of jumped for he didn't realize how incredibly warm the sand was as a result from the hot sun. After he got used to it, Drake walked closer to the water's edge and sat down, taking in the sights and sounds of the ocean's waves. As Drake saw the waves raise and crash and the sun shining on the water, watching it glisten, he had forgotten how beautiful and peaceful the ocean looked. Drake inhaled the salty sea air and closed his eyes, thinking about how peaceful the beach looked. Peace. Calm. Those two words hadn't been part of his lexicon for long, just a few years. As he entertained these thoughts, his mind went to the real reason he came to the beach, to think about the news his mom had told him. "Your father died." Drake couldn't believe it. His biological dad was dead. Dead. Drake didn't know he was sick; this was because he hadn't spoken to his dad in years. He hadn't seen or even heard from him in years not since his mom took him and his little sister, Megan from their dad. Drake remembered the day that the three left. It was a cold, December day in northern California where they were living at the time. Drake's family was extremely wealthy; his dad, Michael, working as a high-powered lawyer with a lot of money coming in. The family loved in a mansion in an elite housing development. Drake had everything he wanted; all the toys and coloring books and clothes. He had a huge backyard to play and drive his power wheels truck. He had a nanny who took care of him and the family had a driver. It was a common thing for the family to take yearly trips to their summer home in Catalina. From the outside, it seemed that they were the perfect family. However, things changed. When Drake was five, his dad's business fell apart. They lost everything, the money, the nanny, the driver, the mansion, and the Catalina summerhouse. The family went from leaving in a gorgeous mansion to being in a small apartment. Drake remembered his mom calling his grandmother just to borrow money for groceries, things were that bad. However, if money trouble was horrible, his dad's behavior was even worst. Michael wasn't the most involved dad to begin with; before the business fell apart, Michael worked long hours and was only home on the weekends. Michael rarely came to Drake's soccer games or school plays and even if he did, he spent more time on the cell phone than Drake. However, when the business fell apart, Michael became even more distant. At first, Michael was driven to find a new job that was just as good, if not better, than he last one. But with every passing day, Michael was getting fewer and fewer job opportunities, at least, a few that paid the same amount that his previous job did. He finally settled for a position at a small law firm in Freemont just 90 minutes away from San Francisco. The pay wasn't great; it was a mere 25,000 a year from the six figures he got at his other job. Michael didn't have the money to keep up with his former way of living so he began to feel sad and then, angry. He read in a law magazine that his former partners had started a new business and had gotten back on their feet. In fact, they had succeeded far more at this new venture than at the old law firm. This made Michael interested in asking for his job back; after all, he had been friends with these guys for years, dating all the way back to law school. So, Michael called them up and asked to be a partner, and they turned him down flat. This angered Michael to the extreme. And Michael dealt with his anger by drinking, a lot. At first, it seemed innocent. Michael having a drink with Audrey with their dinner or the two meeting with the other lawyers and their spouses at the trendy law bar. But, the drinking grew worse. Michael would come home, tired after a 12-hour day at the office and walk straight to the fridge to get a six-pack of beer and plopped his lazy butt in the corner in the dark and drink. He would ignore his family, ignored his wife's offers of dinner and intimacy and his son's demands to spend time with him. He would just sit and drink and drink. When the six-pack was gone, Michael would get another six pack or leave to go to the bar or liquor store, leaving Audrey and little Drake by themselves. Even at that young age, Drake knew something was wrong with his dad. His dad wasn't like other dads, teaching him how to play ball or ride a bike. His dad was distant, emotionally. He wasn't a hugger, so Drake rarely felt that kind of emotional support. His dad would shake his hand when he did something good. If Drake didn't do well, he'd get a lecture from his dad. For example, Drake spilled milk one day by accident and his dad yelled, "Drake Michael! Don't you pay attention when you're doing something! You got milk all over!" Drake bowed his head and felt shame come upon him. He felt like a failure, because he had disappointed his dad and made him mad and yell. As soon as his dad's drinking grew worse, Drake's fear began to grow.

As Drake opened his eyes and looked at the ocean, he began to think about the fear he felt. He looked at the width and length of the ocean and decided it was a metaphor to his fear towards his dad; it seemed to go on forever. Well, at least, that what Drake thought it would, he thought his fear wouldn't end, just like the cuts and bruises.


	3. Distant Daddy

Chapter 3: Distant Daddy

Drake didn't want to remember the awful things that had happened when his dad's drinking intensified. He wanted to forget about them, for they made him so angry and so scared. All he wanted was the peace and calmness he had at the beach. He had so much fear and pain in his past that all he wanted was peace. It seemed to be like a lifelong desire of his. Because of his childhood, which was getting more and more darker.

It had been a year since Michael lost his job. Michael was still working at the small law firm and had gotten a promotion, which meant more money. Audrey had even contributed to the family's income by working as a substitute teacher. With the new money, the couple bought a nice house in Freemont in a good neighborhood. Everything seemed okay. Seemed it the important word. Despite his job, Michael was still unhappy and upset at the fact that his former partners left him alone. Michael was unhappy that his former partners were getting a lot of recognition and money. Michael was upset that he couldn't live the extravagant lifestyle he was accustomed to. However, Michael didn't keep it to himself. He often voiced his pain to Audrey on a daily basis. At first, Audrey seemed supportive, patiently listening to him vent his frustration, rubbing his shoulders, being a good wife. However, with every passing day, Michael's venting began to annoy her and she voiced her opinions.

"Get over, Michael!" she said, sternly one day. "So, you don't have the high powered lawyer job. It's not the end of the world."

"Well, it is to me," he yelled. "I worked my butt off for 10 years and at the height of my success, I lose everything."

Audrey felt hurt. She rubbed his shoulders and said, "You didn't lose everything. You have me and Drake."

Michael shook his head and said, "It's not the same."

Audrey felt her heart break. "Sweetie, are you saying that your career is more important than your wife and son?"

Michael didn't respond. He grabbed his jacket and left the house. "I have to go to the office," he said.

Audrey stood in the hallway, confused at what had just happened. Audrey couldn't believe her husband's priorities had gotten out of control. He was putting his career ahead of his family. It was making her sad. Unfortunately, that feeling would turn to something else.

Audrey decided to focus on little Drake, who was turning six any day. Audrey took him to the movies and out to dinner. She ordered Michael some dinner for she was worried that he hadn't eaten. She was even more worried that he hadn't called her, letting her know where the heck he was.

Audrey decided to push her worries out of the way for Drake's sake. That's how she had dealt with all situations since his birth. If Michael wasn't coming home for dinner, she'd go, "Drake Michael, Daddy can't be home. He has to work. He needs to work hard so we can have all the things we have, ok?" If Michael promised to She wanted him to have a childhood, not be burden by worries with money and family. However, Drake knew what was happening with his dad, he just never voiced his concerns. It seemed that there was a nagging thought that if he did tell his mom about his feelings, it would already add to the stress the family was feeling so Drake kept quiet. Even at the tender age of five, Drake realized that his family wasn't like the families he saw on TV, playing together, eating together, or just being happy. Drake wanted that so badly, he wanted to be happy. Sadly, that wasn't to be….at least for a while

Later that night, Audrey gave Drake his nightly bubble bath. Audrey didn't sing or play with Drake as usual. Audrey seemed to be distant. She had done such a great job pushing her worries away but then, as time went on, Michael still didn't show up. Michael was always one to call even if was for a few minutes, he always letting Audrey know where he was. Audrey was getting worried. She couldn't call him on the cell phone, they couldn't afford the payments and they had sold it. Audrey took a quick glance at the clock. It was nearly 8:30, a whole five hours since Michael left. Audrey was worried and having a tough time covering it up.

Drake had immersed himself in his bath toys, the very few toys he had left. He had been oblivious to his mom's looks of worry until she took him out of the bathtub. After letting the water down the drain and drying Drake off, she asked him a question. "Drake-cake?" she asked, using his baby name.

"Yes, Mommy?" he asked.

"Sweetie, I need you to do Mommy a favor," she said, bending down and taking his face in her hands. "I need you to put your pjs on, can you do that for Mommy?"

"Yes, Mommy," he said. "I will."

"Good boy,": she said, giving him a warm kiss.

Drake turned to walk into his room and change into his pajamas. Then, he forgot his rubber ducky and walked into the bathroom to get it. When he did, he saw his mom, crying her eyes out. Drake couldn't believe it. He had never seen his mom cry, ever. Drake hid in the doorway and watched his mom cry. She was sitting on the bed, bending over and her shoulders bouncing up and down, her face in her hands. Then, she stood up and Drake saw his mom's face laced with tears. Drake went over and said, "Mommy? Mommy, why are you crying?"

Audrey stood up and turned away, wiping her tears. She was trying to hide her pain. "Drake, sweetie, what are you doing? I thought I told you to go to bed," she said, hastily.

"I came to get my ducky," he said. "I saw you crying." He was about to walk over when the two heard the door open. Michael was home. Relieved, Audrey's eyes cleared and she smiled. She picked up Drake and put him to bed. As Drake pulled the covers up, he asked for another nightly tradition. "Mommy, can you sing to me?" he asked.

Audrey looked at him and said, "Maybe later, ok?"

Drake nodded. "Ok."

Audrey kissed and hugged him goodnight. She shut the light and went down to talk to Michael. Drake closed his eyes and went to sleep. However, he was woken up an hour later by yelling and screaming.

"Is this dinner?" he asked, angrily.

Those were the words Michael greeted his wife with. Audrey came down to find her husband standing by the kitchen table, holding the tin-folded wrapped dinner that she had bought for him. He didn't look pleased.

"Where were you?" she asked, ignoring his question.

"I asked, is this dinner?" he asked, his voice growing louder and angrier.

Audrey studied her husband. She looked at him. He was the drunkest she had ever seen him. His eyes were glassy and he could barely stand up. It was scary! For the first time in her life, she began to feel fear. She took a deep breath but apparently it didn't work. In a shaky voice, she said, "y-y-you didn't come home and Drake and I went to dinner-"

"You are suppose to be at home!" he screamed. "Cooking, cleaning, being my wife! Not working, not going out for dinner! Being at home!"

Audrey felt more fear inject her. She couldn't believe that Michael yelling at her over something as little as food.

Audrey's chest began heaving. "Michael, what is wrong with you?" she asked, quietly, still feeling fearful. "You leave the house and don't call me. I get worried about you. I'm crying about you and our son sees and he feels horrible and I'm-"

"Shut up," he said, angrily.

Audrey felt shocked. "What did you say?" she demanded, quietly. Suddenly, the fear went away and angry took its place. "What did you say to me?" she demanded. Michael turned to walk up the steps when Audrey grabbed him by the arm and said, "I'm your wife-"

Michael grabbed his wife's arm and looked deep into her eyes with a penetrating glaze. "That's right, you are my wife and Drake's my son," he glared. "You will both do what I say, understand?"

Audrey felt fear once again entered her. She was so scared that she couldn't speak.

"Understand!" he demanded, louder, grabbing her arm tighter.

Audrey felt more fear and forced back tears. "Yes," she said, quietly.

Michael dropped her arm and walked up to their bed.

Audrey sat down on the chair in fear. She lifted up her sweater and saw the spot on her arm where Michael had grabbed. There was a red spot on it. Audrey took one look at the arm and realized this was the beginning. The beginning of the cuts and bruises.


	4. Little Boy

Chapter 4: Little boy

Drake never forgot that red spot on his mom's arm. Even now, Drake could tell exactly how big and round the bruise was. And it made him _angry._ Drake felt that angry surge into his soul. Drake found a rock on the beach and threw it hard into the water. The rock hit the water hard and it made the water ripple nicely. Drake still felt angry so he picked up another rock and threw it…then, another, then another, then another. After ten minutes of throwing rocks, Drake still didn't feel better. He felt angry and that anger filled his eyes and they formed into tears, tears that Drake was refusing to hold back. Drake wasn't a crier at all. But this was different. He was thinking about the morning he first saw his mom's bruises and the first day, Drake started getting abused. Drake wasn't sure he could face this. He wasn't sure he could allow his mind to bring back the days of his dad hitting him or his mom. He couldn't bring himself back to those painful memories. Then, Drake felt a drop of water in his hand. He looked up and saw gray clouds cover the beautiful sun. Suddenly, Drake heard thunder roar and he knew it was his cue to get out of there! Drake took his sneakers and ran for his car just as a downpour was coming. Drake sat in his car and watched the raining coming down hard. Drake sat back in his car. Suddenly, he didn't want to be alone. He wanted to be with someone. He couldn't bring back the pain of his past alone. As much as he hated to admit it, but he wanted someone to be there to listen to him, to comfort him. He just didn't know whom.

Drake took a deep breath and braved the rain to drive home.

An hour later, Drake arrived home to an anxious family. Drake came in, a bit wet from the rain.

Audrey, who was sitting on the couch, holding Megan, practically jumped up and wrapped her arms around her damp son. "Ahh, my angel," she breathed, hugging him tightly.

For the first time ever, Drake took in the feeling of his mom's embrace, her arms around him, relieved that he was home and safe. Drake took solace in her hug and felt compelled to her hug back which he did, he wrapped his arms tightly around her, and grateful for her hug and the reassurance it gave him.

When they pulled away, Drake looked at her, a bit misty-eyed. "I'm so sorry, Mom," he whispered.

Audrey, who had tears coming down her face, smiled and caressed his face. "It's ok, sweetie," she breathed. "It's okay. You're here now."

Audrey kissed him and Drake turned to his little sister. "Hey, Megs," he said, preparing to have her insult him like she usually did. But she didn't. Tears in her eyes, she ran to Drake and wrapped her arms around his waist. "I'm glad you're home, Drake," she said. "I was worried."

Drake felt his heart melt. Megan never voiced her concerns towards Drake. In fact, she spent more time torturing him than anything. But this time was different. Here was Megan, crying as she held onto her brother. Drake feeling more tears enter his eyes, which he held back. Drake hugged her back. "Thanks, Megs," he breathed. Megan sat down and Drake looked at Josh and Walter. "You all right, son?" Walter asked.

Drake nodded. "Yeah, I'm all right."

"Are you hungry?" Audrey asked.

Drake shook his head and said, "No, I just want to take a shower and lie down, ok?"

Audrey nodded in agreement. Walter and Audrey watched Drake walk away. Audrey sat down and began to cry again. Walter sat beside her and wrapped her arms around her. "It's going to be okay, honey," he said. "Drake's going to be okay."

Audrey looked at him throw her tears and said, "I hope so." The two held each other and Audrey cried.

Drake stepped into the shower and turned on the water. Suddenly, hot water comes on his skin. "Ow! Gees!" he screamed, wincing in pain. Drake shook off the hot water and made it warmer. As Drake wet his hair, another thought was triggered by the hot water. It was the first time Drake's biological dad hit him. Drake leaned back against the shower wall to think about the memory, which he was too scared to think.

It was the morning after Audrey got her arm squeezed from Michael. Audrey had gotten up early and prepared breakfast and lunch for Drake and Michael. She didn't want to admit it but since last night, she was terrified. Terrified of the man Michael had become. Terrified of what alcohol was doing to him. She couldn't believe it. She was terrified of her own husband, the man who was supposed to love her. Audrey rolled her sleeve up to see that her arm was bruised. She couldn't believe it, how could a man have so much strength? She heard footsteps so she quickly rolled down her arm.

Michael came down the steps, ready to go to work. "Morning," he said, looking at the contents of his briefcase.

"Morning," she said, quietly.

Michael closed his briefcase and said, "I'm going to be late tonight, ok? So, have a suitable dinner ready."

Audrey felt hurt. What? she thought. I can't make a suitable dinner for you? But she didn't dare say that. She didn't want to get hurt again. "Yeah, I will," she said.

Michael left without saying goodbye or eating breakfast. Audrey didn't even question him. She felt it was best if she didn't say anything.

Drake came downstairs a little later, with his Scooby-Do book bag, ready for school.

Audrey put on a smile and said good morning to Drake. She feed him breakfast and got him off to school. Throughout the whole morning, Audrey kept on a positive attitude. She didn't want to worry Drake or let him know what had happened the night before. She just drove Drake to school and kissed him goodbye, grateful that the little boy wouldn't have to deal with his dad tonight. Sadly, he would.

It was common for Drake to be bussed to the Boys and Girls Club of Freemont for after school kinderkare where his mom would pick him up. However, this was different. The bus driver was told that Drake's dad would pick him up. For some reasons, Drake felt happy. Finally! Daddy's going want to spend time with me! He thought. Drake was so excited that he packed his book bag and waited quietly for his dad to come.

Michael came to the club and picked Drake up.

"Hi Daddy!" he said.

Michael smiled and ruffled Drake's hair. "Hiya pal," he said, nicely.

Drake remembered feeling so psyched that his dad was finally to hang out with him. However, he also remembered how that joy would change to terror.

When Michael drove home, Drake realized his dad wouldn't do the things he promised. The first thing that clued Drake in was when Michael sat down in front of the TV…….with a six-pack of beer. Drake stood in the doorway, watching his dad just sit there and drink and drink, completely ignoring him. Drake wasn't happy about this so he asked, "Daddy?" Michael wasn't responding, so Drake stood in front of his dad, blocking his vision and said, "daddy, can't we play together?" Drake actually thought that his dad would say, "Sure, pal." But instead, Michael retorted, "No."

Drake looked crestfallen and said, "But Daddy I thought-"

"You thought I would play with you?" he asked, spitting out beer. "You're wrong, son. Daddy's busy."

Drake felt like crying. He couldn't believe that his dad was being so mean, that his dad wouldn't play with him.

"You promised me," Drake said in his childish voice. "You promised."

"I don't promise anything," he yelled, standing on his feet, glaring at his little boy. "Now go, Drake Michael."

Drake was angry. "Daddy, play with me!" he demanded,

"I said, beat it!" Michael screamed. Michael made a fist with his hand and swung at Drake, hitting him in the lip, causing him to fall.

"Now go!" he roared. "Before I hit you again."

Drake laid on the floor, unable to get up for he was in shock at what his dad had done to him. Michael slammed his beer can on the table, causing the beer to splatter all over. He was angry. "See, what you made me do?" he screamed. "You made me spill beer all over!" Drake hid his face in his hands, scared about that his dad may hit him again. Suddenly, Drake felt a hand, pulling on his shirt, pulling him up. Michael turned Drake around and made him looked into his eyes. Drake saw in his dad's eyes that he was furious at him, furious at him for making his beer spill.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," he said, his voice suddenly quavering. "I'm sorry."

"That's not going to cut the mustard, is it, Drake Michael?" growled Michael. Michael dragged Drake by his shirt with one hand and removed his belt with another. Then, Drake saw as his dad raise the belt and the belt landed on his back.

"Ow!" Drake screamed, crying. "Ow!"

"Shut up!" he roared, louder. "You better shut up and quit you're crying and act like a big boy or else I give you something to cry about."

Drake stopped crying and talking, thinking that it would stop. But it didn't. The belt didn't stop.

Drake stood, motionless in the shower, thinking about that little boy who was getting hit by his dad. Drake saw the pain and sadness in that little boy's eyes. He knew that the hitting wasn't his fault, his wasn't to blame. All that little boy wanted was for his daddy to play with him, that's all. Play, not hit. As Drake thought about this, he felt his soul connect with that memory and his soul began to ache, heavily. And the aches turned to physical pain that Drake couldn't contained. Drake found himself, slowly moving down the shower wall, unable to hold himself up…unable to hold his body and his emotions for Drake began to cry…. hard. He cried for that little boy, he cried for the fact that the little boy, the little, innocent boy of five was getting hit. The shower still running, with the water coming down, Drake curled up in a ball and cried…and cried.. and cried.

After a few minutes, Drake finished showering and crying. When Drake got out, and wrapped himself in a warm robe, he looked in the mirror and was horrified at what he saw, his eyes were red and puffy and his nose was red. Drake felt like he had been through a war. Well, he had actually. But he knew that he couldn't keep facing his pain alone. He went back to the thought he had at the beach, he needed to talk to someone about his dad's death and the abuse. Earlier, he didn't know whom he could talk to, but now, he did. Josh. He could talk to Josh, his brother about the cuts and bruises.


	5. Finally Free

Chapter 5: Finally Free

Drake emerged from the bathroom a little while later. He walked into the bedroom that he shared with Josh. He was relieved that Josh wasn't there. He suddenly wasn't sure about opening himself up to Josh. Drake wasn't entirely sure that Josh would understand his past, what his dad had done to him. Could Josh sympathize with Drake? Probably not. Could Josh offer some comfort and words of wisdom? Absolutely. Josh was very responsible, took things very seriously, and so he had a lot of adult things to add to what Drake had to say. Even though, Drake felt a bit unsure, but he knew that feeling would diminish. But before he had the talk, he needed some clothes. He selected a pair of blue jeans and a pale blue shirt. Drake then brushed his hair and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He studied his features, his cream-colored skin and red hair, it reminded him of his dad. With that horrid look, Drake covered the mirror with his robe. Then, he knew that wasn't the answer. He dropped the robe and took a good hard look at himself and said, with the most intensity he had ever knew, "I'm not my father." And that was right. He was going to talk his feelings out, not hit anyone. He was stronger than that, wiser than that.

Drake sat on the couch and began strumming along on his acoustic guitar, trying to get a good note for the song he had began working on just hours before. After an hour, no such luck but Josh came in.

"Hey brother," he said.

Drake looked up and smiled. "Hey, bro," he replied.

Feeling uneasy, Josh kept his distance and said, "I'm glad you're okay. I was worried."

Drake felt his eyes well up again, his soul touched by his brother's heartfelt concern. "Thanks, man." Drake wiped his tears away and said, "Shoot, I cried so hard today. I didn't know the human body could produce so many tears."

"Sometimes it's good to cry," Josh said.

"Yeah, it is," said Drake, as he put his guitar down. "And talk."

"You wanna talk about your biological dad?" he asked, brightened a bit."

Drake felt uneasy and said, "Yeah, well, you know, if you're not busy."

Josh smiled one of the warmest smiles Drake had ever seen. "I've never too busy for you, brother," saying the word "brother" in his usual goofy manner.

Drake laughed and said, "Dude, you always make me laugh. I didn't laugh a whole lot until you moved in." Drake began to look sad.

Josh shared in that sadness by saying; "Because of what your real dad did to you, right?"

Drake nodded and looked down. Josh could see a tear falling form Drake's face.

Sensing the sadness, Josh moved closer on the couch and placed a warm hand on Drake's shoulder and said, "It's ok, Drake. You can talk to me. I won't say a word to anyone."

Drake looked though his tears and asked, "Promise?"

Josh smiled and said, "Promise."

Feeling that surge of confidence, Drake took a deep breath and wiped his eyes with the tissue that Josh had offered him. "Well, my dad did a lot of bad things to me," he said. "He wasn't the best father by a long shot. He seemed to care more about making money and trying to prove something then, hanging out with me."

Josh frowned and said, "I know. It could be tough when you don't have someone like that in your life."

"I mean, all I wanted to have my dad play with and take care of me," Drake went on. "But he didn't. He never gave a rat's butt about me or my mom or even Megan. He just hit me and hit me until I couldn't feel it anymore. I began numb to his beatings."

"When did he start hitting you?" Josh asked.

"When I was five," Drake answers, feeling the pain of that tragic first day come to him. "I was only five, Josh. I was small for my age and my dad was huge, I mean, he was a telephone pole. Man, he scared me. After that first beating, I would go home feeling so scared. Some kids wanted to get out of school and go home, me, I just wanted out stay a little bit longer. That's why I began slacking off in my schoolwork, so I could go to remedial and get extra help, so I wouldn't have to be home."

Drake took a nearby pillow and held it to him. "But, I couldn't stay in school forever, so I would go home and be scared to death of what my father would do. Sometimes, he would not come home until after I had gone to bed, which was a relief because I could be with my mom and my baby sister and feel safe. But even he came home and it was only him and me, Mom would work late, it would scare me because I wouldn't know what he would do."

"What did he do?" he asked.

Drake sat back in the couch and clutched his pillow tighter. "Sometimes, he would just sit in front of the TV and drink all night, not pay attention to me. I was on my own to make sure I cleaned and ate and did my homework. I never felt so alone in my life and I was only five or six."

"But you had your mom and Megan came along and you probably weren't as lonely anymore," said Josh.

"Yeah, well, that feeling didn't come to often," Drake, admitted. "I spent more time with my dad then with my mom, because my dad insisted that he could handle things. My mom wanted to go back to college but was worried about my dad and what would happen but my dad made it pretty clear that she go to school. SO, she did and I was left with the monster."

Drake bent his head down and felt more tears come down. Josh reached over and held Drake, patting his back and encouraging him to let it all out.

After a while, Drake said, "When my dad would pay attention to me, it was to hit me. If I did the slightest thing wrong, I would get it. The belt, the wooden spoon across my back, if I made him spill his beer. I brought home an 80 on a math test when I was seven and instead of praising me, he gave me a fat lip and called me stupid. One of the worst was when I was eight, I was playing with my toys and I guess I made a lot of noise because my dad came down, roaring mad and gave me a black eye." He traced the outside of his eye and said, "It was so black because my skin is so light, and it hurt so bad, it was intense. At first, he hit me a little bit during the week and then, it became everyday. At first it was just a slap and maybe the belt but then, fists, wooden spoon everything. Nothing would stop him from hurting me."

Josh felt tears of his own form. He looked at his strong, confident stepbrother and was in utter disbelief that he could be the victim of such horrible abuse. "What did your mom say?" asked Josh.

Drake curled up like a pillow and said, "Mom, didn't know what was going on for awhile. I made it a habit to cover my cuts and bruises. I would wear long sleeved shirts and pants to hid them. But my mom, who had a night off of work and school, gave me a bath and saw the bruises on my back after my dad hit me and she just got so furious with him. She yelled at him like I had never heard in my life. 'Don't you dare hurt our son. He's your son, Michael. You lay a hand on him again, I will hurt you.' Then, my dad responded by saying, 'Yeah, you hurt me, I'll hurt you.' And he proceeded to slap my mom and then, came to my room and hit me, cause it was my fault she saw the bruises."

"Drake, if your mom saw that you were getting abused and she was getting abused, why didn't she just leave, if it was that horrible?" he asked.

Drake looked at his brother and said, "Josh, we couldn't. We couldn't leave. My mom was a young mom and we didn't have a lot of money and whatever we did have was in my dad's name. If he knew any money was taken out, he would do anything. And he was a lawyer, so, I mean, he knew a lot of cops and lawyers so if, we did try to leave, we wouldn't get very far."

"When did you finally leave?" asked Josh.

"Well, Megan was born when I was about seven in September," he explained. "For a while our family was peaceful. My dad seemed to not drink as much and seemed a bit caring. He had gotten counseling for his drinking and anger. It seemed that Megan was bringing us together again. My dad even spent time with Megan, sitting on the bed in her nursery and singing songs and me. However, after Thanksgiving, things got really, really bad. My dad felt pressured to care for three people including himself, so he stopped going to therapy and her began drinking and hurting us again. And then, one night in December, he came home late at night, drunker than he ever was and he went on screaming and yelling and he took me and hit me hard, and I must of blacked out. The next thing I knew I was in the emergency room at the local hospital and there was a cop there. My mom told him everything that ever happened. And, my dad was arrested the following morning and while, he was in jail, we packed all the stuff we could and we left Freemont and my dad. My mom had saved enough money and we went to my aunt's house in San Diego. I remember arriving there, I hadn't seen the ocean in a long time, since we sold the house in Catalina and I had forgotten how nice it was. It seemed so peaceful, so calm, something that I wasn't feeling. And UI remember my mom wanting to teach me how to swim, She wanted to put me in swim lessons. Anyway, I was scared of the ocean; it seemed so big, so freaky, like I was with my dad. However, As soon as I got in that water and had my mom holding me up, I didn't feel scared anymore. I felt…free. Freer than I ever felt before. And I knew, right after I got out of the water, that things would be okay. We were going to be okay."

Drake sat down and dropped the couch, which was a metaphor for his feelings. He finally felt free to let out all of the pain and sadness of his past.

Josh took a few minutes to soak in all that Drake had told him and think about it. After a while, Josh came to a conclusion. The Drake that was before him was a vulnerable Drake had been through a nightmare, a painful childhood with an alcoholic, abusive dad. But, the present Drake, this Drake, was a guy who had gone through this painful past and emerged a stronger guy, a happier guy.

The silence was deafening to Drake and he began to feel afraid, like Josh was about to judge him. "Josh, what's up?" he asked, nervously.

Josh looked at him and smiled. "I really admire you, Drake," he said, at last.

Drake felt shocked. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean, look at you, then, you were a scared, little boy, who never thought he would ever feel safe," he said. "Now, I'm looking at you and you are a courageous young man, who came through this horrible past, happy and kind. A lot of people who have been in your position let themselves get bitter and cold. But you didn't. You're a great person."

Drake felt tears come to his eyes, once again. Yes, what Josh said was true. He was happy, kind, and strong. Something that he never thought he could be. Something that he fought long and hard to be. And that's when it hit him. He had left his dad and he had survived without him. He didn't need this mean man, his biological dad, to be the young man he was becoming. He was fine without his dad. That's when he had made his decisions.

"Josh, I'm going to my dad's funeral," he said.

Josh looked at him, shocked. "What?" he asked.

Drake took a breath and said, "I need to go to my dad's funeral. I need to tell him that I turned out all right. I need to tell him that I have survived the cuts and bruises."

With that, Drake walked out to find his mom. It was time to plan his trip to his biological dad's funeral.


	6. A Doubting Parker

Chapter 6: A Doubting Parker

Within days, Drake was on his way to attend his biological father's funeral. It wasn't easy to convince his mom to let him go.

"Mom, please, let me do this," he said.

Audrey looked at her son with tears in her eyes. "Drake, it's not that I don't want you to go," she said. "It's just that" Her voice trailed off.

"What?" asked Drake.

Audrey looked at him and said, "There're going to be people there that we haven't seen in a while. People who may not want you there."

Drake hadn't thought about that. He hadn't thought about his aunts and uncles, the people on his dad's side said who hadn't even bother to help him and his mom and sister out but that didn't matter. What did matter was Drake letting go of the past, letting his dad know that he was okay.

Being considerate of his mom's feelings, Drake took his mom's hand and said, "Mom, I know you want to forget about what Michael did to you. So do I. But I need to go, I need to do this."

Audrey looked down.

Wanting to comfort her more, Drake wrapped an arm around her and said, "I just feel in my heart that I need to face my past. I need to tell Michael that we're okay, that I'm okay."

"Mom, I know that you're afraid," he said. "But I can do this. Please let me do this."

Audrey's eyes cleared and she looked in amazement at her son. How did he get so mature so quickly?

"All right, Drake," she said. "You can go. You have two weeks until you start day camp and we aren't going away until August. You can go."

Drake smiled and gave her a warm hug. "Thank you, Mom," he whispered. "Thank you so much."

Drake got up and ran to his room to pack. As Drake was doing that, Audrey decided to sit outside on the porch and watch Megan and her friend, Addie swim in the pool that Walter had just installed. As Audrey leaned back on the swing, she watched Megan and Addie swim and splash each other and have a wonderful time. Megan seemed to be enjoying her childhood, carefree, no worries. She was glad that one of her children was enjoying her childhood. Drake hadn't enjoyed his childhood, he didn't have a childhood.

Walter sat down next to his wife and put his arm around her. "Are you okay?" he asked.

Audrey responded by nodding her head but Walter wasn't buying it. "You're not okay, Audrey," he said.

"You're right, Walter, I'm not," she said as she got up and walked to the railing. "I don't want Drake going to the funeral," she said.

"Why did you tell him he could go?" Walter asked.

"Because he seemed so insisted," she said. "He really wants to go and let go of his past but I just him to forget about it. I want him to forget about what my ex-husband did to him."

"Then, Audrey, why did you even bother telling him about Michael's death?" he asked.

Audrey thought about that. "Because I think he should know about his biological dad dying," she said. "I wanted him to know that when Michael died, all the pain that Drake went through had died as well."

"Audrey, I admire you for wanting to protect Drake," Walter said. "But just because Michael died doesn't mean that what he did to Drake dies as well. Drake will still feel that pain."

"I know," Audrey said, tears welling up. "In the back of my mind, I always knew but I wanted to protect Drake. I wanted to erase all memory of Michael from him but I guess one just can't."

"No, they can't," Walter, said. "One has to let their children face their pain."

"Thank you, baby," she said. The two hugged and proceeded to watch Megan and Addie have a contest for that can do the best cannonball.

Drake was in his room, packing for the trip. He was having a hard time finding a suitable outfit for the funeral for he hadn't been to in a long time.

Josh came in and said, "Need help packing?"

Drake looked up, smiled, and responded "Yeah, thanks, man. I can't find a suitable outfit for the funeral," he said. "I mean, what is appropriate to wear?"

Josh looked at him and said, "Haven't you even been to a funeral before?"

Drake just shrugged and said, "Well, yeah, when I was little, my grandfather's. And my mom picked out my clothes." Drake sat down on his bed and put his face in his hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do. "

"Drake, don't worry, you'll find something appropriate," Josh said.

"It's not that Josh," he said. "I just that, I didn't even think about what I'm, going to say to my biological father's family. I mean, as I was packing my things, I was rehearsing in my head what I was going to say and I couldn't think of anything or at least, anything that seemed right."

Drake rubbed his eyes, trying to rub away the stress he was feeling. Josh got up and sat beside his brother. "Look, Drake, I know this is going to be hard for you," he said. "I mean, after all you've been through, the abuse and everything. And now, you're going to your dad's funeral and seeing people you haven't seen, it seems like it's……"

"Too much for me to handle," he admitted.

Josh looked at him, surprised and said, "Drake, what do you mean? You were so gung-ho on going to the funeral and now, you're admitting to me that it's too much to handle."

"It is," he said. He jumped down from the bed and began to sort through his clothes again. Josh could see that the stress in his brother's eyes was the most he had even seen in a person. "I thought I could handle it, I thought everything would be fine," Drake said, throwing his clothes on top the bag with a lot of intensely. "I thought I would be able to go to the funeral and face my past and tell Michael that I was okay and I could handle but I can't!" He dropped a jacket and shook his head. "I can't do this, Josh," he admitted. "I mean I really, really can't do this."

Josh looked at his brother, in disbelief that Drake, the brother that seemed so strong and calm and cool and in control…. was falling apart in front of him.

Josh decided to take some of that strength and put it in words, words that can further help him.

"Drake, I want to ask you something," he said. "Why did you decide to go to the funeral?"

Drake took a breath and said, hastily, "I don't know."

"You do," he said, "You know."

Drake rubbed his eyes and said, "Because I wanted to tell my biological dad that I was okay, that I had survived all the stuff he did to me."

"Okay, that's all you need to do," Josh said.

"You make it seem so simple, just tell him that I'm okay, despite the fact that I spent my childhood scared of him, scared of what he was doing to me and my mom," he said.

"Drake, wasn't the whole point of you going to let go of what happened to you?" he asked. "To finally let go."

Drake thought about that; going to the funeral was a way of finally letting go, finally letting all the pain leave him.

"You're right, brother," he said, after awhile. "You are totally, absolutely right. I guess I was just scared about what to say."

"Drake, when you write your music, how do you write?" he asked.

Drake shrugged and said, "I don't know, I guess I write out of my life, my thoughts and emotions."

"Well, that's all you need to do," Josh said. "Just speak out of your thoughts and feelings. It's not going to be easy, but you can do it. Just believe in yourself, I do."

Josh gave his brother a warm smile and Drake smiled back. "Thanks, man," he said.

After a while minutes, Josh said, "Well, let's get you packed up, you can't wear jeans to a funeral."

Drake laughed and the two packed a bag for Drake and went to bed, not before watching their favorite movie, _The Blues Brothers._ Josh thought Drake needed something laughter after all that happened, after talking about the cuts and bruises.


	7. Back Home Again

Chapter 7: Back Home Again

Drake woke up early the next morning to get an early drive to his biological dad's funeral. From his mom and aunt, Drake had found out that his dad had moved from Freemont to Los Angeles, so that required a long drive from San Diego, at least three hours. The wake was to be held that day with viewings in the afternoon and evening and the next day would be the funeral. Even though Drake felt a bit calmer the night before, he still had some doubts. He didn't know what to say or even how to say it. He hadn't seen these people in years. But he decided not to drive himself crazy with all this. He just decided to enjoy the drive along the scenic Pacific Coast line. The rain was gone from before and the sun was shining brightly and broadly on the beach and water, making it more beautiful than ever. The beaches were getting crowded and filled with activity, a clear sign that summer had officially come and school was out. Drake loved summer the best because of no school (obviously) and the feeling of freedom and being carefree. It's funny; Drake wasn't feeling any of those things. He was feeling scared and unsure of what the next few days would hold for him. Drake soon snapped out of it and paid attention to the road, he didn't want to get in an accident, which is would bring back more painful memories for him.

It was just a year after Drake's mom had taken him and his baby sister away from their abusive father. Audrey had filed for divorce just a month after moving into his aunt's house. She also told the police about his abuse and got a restraining order. Drake remembered that day when his mom showed the pictures of him, with his bruises. Audrey had taken the picture to have proof for the police. Drake could see the tears in his mom's beautiful brown eyes as she struggled to take the photo; she finally gave up and gave the camera to her sister, Drake's aunt, to take the picture. Drake looked at that photo when he was older and couldn't believe what he saw, he couldn't believe what his dad had done to him. Drake was so worried that he pulled off to the shoulder of the high way and put his head in his hands.

"Why am I going to this?" he asked himself. "Why am I even bothering to pay my respects to that monster?"

Then, Josh's words came to him. "You want to tell your dad you're okay. You survived your childhood."

With that renewed confidence, Drake started his car and again drove along the highway. Soon, he was thinking about the dad his mom filed for divorce. He was got school and his aunt was watching baby Megan. Drake knew this day would come; his mom had prepared him for what was to happen.

"Drake Michael," she said, pulling him into lap. "You know that we left Daddy."

"Yeah," he said in his childish, sad voice.

Audrey's eyes welled up but she kept her strength up for her son. "Well, Daddy hasn't been nice to us, so we're going to get a divorce."

"What's a divorce?" he asked.

"Well, a divorce is when the man and woman don't love each other anymore, so they decided that it would be best to not live together anymore," she explained.

Drake remained silent. He was so silent that Audrey questioned him. "Drake, honey, are you okay?" she asked.

Drake nodded his head and said, "Yes, Mommy."

"If you need to talk, I'm always here," she said.

"I know, Mommy," he said.

Audrey gave him a kiss and sent him off to school. Before he left, he looked over at his mommy and "Mommy, I want to live with you." Then, he left.

Audrey cried at those words. She couldn't believe that someone so small and young can be so strong.

As Drake drove off the highway at the exit, he thought about that strength. He hadn't felt that strength in a long time. He didn't know where that strength was…..but he needed it. Drake had just driven to his aunt Rose's house.

Drake drove to the house, which was in the lavish area of Malibu. Drake shut off the car but he didn't get out. He wasn't scared anymore just unsure of what was about to happen and what to say. So, instead to calm his fears, he looked around the house. He had remembered it so well. It was on the ocean, a mansion whose front yard was sand. Drake remembered being a little boy, playing in the sand with his sand toys. He loved the simply feeling of being a child, something he didn't feel often. After ten minutes of stalling, Drake figured he would get out of the car and see everyone. Drake hadn't seen his dad's relatives and he was concerned about how they were about to react. But Drake needed to do this. He needed to talk to his dad's relatives and tell them he was okay…..without them.

Drake got his duffel bag and walked to the front door and rang the bell.

About a few seconds later, the door opened and there appeared a tall, slim woman, about late 30s, early 40s, with burgundy hair, burgundy eyebrows, and cream-colored skin, just like Drake, just like his dad's.

The woman frowned but suddenly changed to a smile. "Drake!" she said, surprised. "How are you? It's good to see you!" She grabbed him and gave him a hug. Drake felt a little uneasy with this woman that he didn't know hugging him.

When Drake got out of the woman's hug, he looked at her, trying not to be surprised by this woman.

"I'm good, you?" he asked, uncertain.

"You don't know me, do you?" she asked.

Drake smiled a bit and said, "Um, yes, I don't, sorry."

The two laughed and the woman said, "It's Aunt Rose. Remember? You and my kids used to play on the beach at Catalina."

Drake smiled and said, "Oh yeah, I remembered. Ryan, Rebecca, and Matthew, right?"

Aunt Rose smiled and said, "Yeah, yeah."

"How are they?" he asked, feeling a little bit comfortable.

"Great, Ryan is at USC, working on his degree in special education, Matthew is going to be a senior at West Malibu High, and Rebecca is a lawyer, just like your dad," she explained.

Suddenly, the word, "dad" struck a cord in Drake, his "dad" was Walter Nichols, not Michael Parker, but Drake didn't want to say that so he just listened.

"SO, your mom called this morning and I offered to have you stay here at my house, if that's ok," she offered.

"Oh, that's great, thanks a lot," he said.

Aunt Rose lead Drake through the house. It was perfectly decorated, with expensive, beige leather and wooden furniture. It reminded Drake of the house he once lived in. As he walked through, Drake saw old pictures of his dad's family, some he knew and some he didn't, including a beautiful, blond, model-like woman and two small girls, who looked like twins, because they had on matching lavender sundresses. Why this particular picture was pointed out was that Drake's biological dad was in it, which meant that…this woman was his dad's wife.

"Aunt Rose, this woman," he asked. "Is she Dad's wife?"

Aunt Rose, who had checked on some food, walked up to him and had a sad look on her face. She looked like she was about to cry. She turned around and said, "That's his wife, Amber and their twin girls, Abigail Grace and Michaela Joy."

"They're beautiful girls," he said, softly with a warmth that he didn't have often. "They have the same nice brown hair as Megan."

"Do they?" she asked. She turned still had her back turned. Drake was so engrossed in the picture that he didn't realize that his Aunt Rose was crying.

Drake turned and saw her tears. "Aunt Rose, what's wrong?"

Rose turned and said, "They're taking their dad's death hard. They're only five. And they were very close. They did so many things together. He was a stay-at-home dad, so they played and colored and they had a great bond."

Drake focused on the picture and his aunt's words. "They had a great bond." Man, that's something Drake so wanted. Michael never played or colored with Drake or Megan. He never cared about him, he just ignored him……..or hit him. That made Drake feel sad and soon, Drake felt tears of his own come down.

RING! RING! Went the doorbell.

Aunt Rose's eyes cleared and said, "I better get that."

Drake quietly wiped his tears and prepared himself to meet another person from his past. In walked, his childhood priest. In the back of his mind, Drake actually hoped that his priest could give him some help, help for him to understand why Drake was the only Parker child to suffer cuts and bruises.


End file.
